I hear this a lot in my work: “That person is just resistant to change.” It’s usually followed by how that person is: stubborn, difficult, stuck. But what if resistance isn’t a character flaw? What if resistance is logical and protective and a self-regulatory function? What if resistance does not reside within one person but […]
Are You Dealing With Someone Resistance to Change? Read More »
“Whatever the problem, the answer is in the circle. When we gather in circles, people’s energy is released in ways that create order, coherence, and new possibilities.” … Margaret Wheatley, Leadership and the New Science Have you ever sat around in a circle? Perhaps it was at a campfire sing-along, or at a circular
Why Circles and Roundtables Work: A Simple, Powerful Tool for Teams Read More »
For a long time, I’ve been enamoured of a book by Bill Ury called The Third Side: Why We Fight and How We Can Stop. So much so, I wrote a whole summary of the book(available here). The book details Ury’s experiences visiting and studying peace cultures. One of the Big Ideas has to
What is the Role of Community in Conflict Read More »
“The quality of our lives depends not on whether or not we have conflicts, but on how we respond to them.” … Thomas Crum, The Magic of Conflict One theme I come across time and again in my work as a leadership coach and conflict consultant is: people avoid conflict. This phenomenon isn’t
The Hidden Cost of Staying Silent & How to Finally Speak Up! Read More »
“There are no facts, only interpretations.” … Friedrich Nietzsche Fake news has been plaguing us as long as we’ve had language. We used to call it propaganda. No matter what you call it, these days we each exist in a vortex of information that confirms our own perspective. We live in echo-chambers of validation. Some
Fake News and The End of Truth – Be a Perspectivist Read More »
A new friend of mine told me a story recently about her neighbour who’d gone through a divorce. After the divorce, the woman seemed changed as all she could do was talk about how terrible her ex-husband was. Perhaps you recognize those moments when someone is complaining about someone else to you. The person telling
Be the Third Side: Building a Culture of Peace Read More »
I was recently watching a video snippet of someone talking about being let go from a contract. They said they hadn’t seen it coming, were deeply impacted, and had a shaky voice in the telling. From time to time, life presents these kinds of moments – unexpected events with real-world consequences: A job is lost.
Speak Clearly, Gain Power Read More »
After working in the field of conflict for over 25 years, one of the most heartbreaking patterns I see starts in the smallest of ways. It begins with a moment, one of those tiny instances between you and someone you care about: Maybe it’s a small omission. A white lie. Maybe you avoid saying something
The Pinch That Becomes a Wedge Read More »
In a 1990 interview with Barbara Walters, Donald Trump was asked if he thought it was appropriate to call the then-mayor of New York a “moron.” Trump replied, “It’s how I feel.” This seemingly simple exchange highlights a profound trap I’ve seen many people, not just Trump, fall into: the belief that evaluations and judgments
Why Words Matter: Choosing Humanity Over Harm Read More »
Last month, I had the privilege of speaking to a group of law students who were seeking alternative ways to resolve disputes—a group committed to transformation. This wasn’t just a conversation about law; it was about how we, as human beings, engage with one another when times get tough, how we bridge divides, and how
Circles For Change: Build Connection Through Conversations Read More »