ON CONFLICT BLOG

What’s in an I Statement Anyway?

Many people have heard about “I statements.” As someone said to me recently: “It’s counseling 101.”     Yet, I do see many people struggle with expressing I statements, or even having a common understanding of what they are.     So, let’s start with the basics: what do we really mean by I statements?     In its simplest form, an I statement is when someone talks about their own experience:   I went to the store. I think your bike is swell.

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What Can Make the Difference For Any Team You’re Part Of?

What if I told you, if you are a member of a team or a group, that holding Circle meetings could up your creativity and innovation? Would you believe me? Let me take you on a journey to show you how I came to that conclusion! Let’s start with a key finding from a leadership book I came across recently: The Captain Class: The Hidden Force Behind the World’s Greatest Teams, by Sam Walker. Walker based his data on compelling case studies profiling the men and women

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What Is Human Nature & Why Does That Matter?

What Is Human Nature & Why Does That Matter? A friend asked me recently if I’d heard of Rutger Bregman’s book Humankind: A Hopeful History. I hadn’t, but my curiosity was piqued! So, I dived into reviews and Goodreads and ordered it from the library (still waiting excitedly!). What I did surmise is Bregman makes a case for us humans being, fundamentally, good. He addresses a question important through the ages, that is: What do you believe humans are at their core? Said another way:

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Why Bother Having a Can of Worms Conversation?

Why Bother Opening a Can of Worms? As a mediator and conflict connoisseur, a question I get asked a lot, when I am encouraging people to talk with each other, sounds something like: “Why should I even bother having the conversation?” “What’d be the benefit in me even opening that can of worms!?” Exactly! That’s a really valid question! Tough conversations take effort. They are fraught with possible pitfalls, failures, and damage to relationships. We know that. We’ve been there. So, we can easily

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What Part Are You?

Last month, I spoke about the importance of being able to see multiple perspectives. In an era of information and misinformation, it’s become futile to convince someone of your point of view. There’s just too much data and it can be massaged in various ways to make it support a particular perspective.     If you want to influence someone, it starts shifting from your own perception of the situation to taking on another perspective. It starts with understanding their point of view.  

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Are You Wanting The One Truth Or Multiple Perspectives?

In this day and age, trying to discern what the truth is can seem impossible. Did someone really do that egregious behaviour or not? Sheryl Sandberg, for example has come out with a new documentary on the sexual violence perpetrated on men and women in the October 7 attacks.     We know many of the political conflicts around the world are marked by the most horrible acts. What we can do to each other brings me to my knees in sorrow and despair.

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