ON CONFLICT BLOG
The Joy of Collaborative Leadership
I was asked recently to volunteer as an assistant coach for an 8 week women’s cycling clinic. I was keen to do it, as I’ve volunteered in other years and it’s always inspiring to be around other women athletes who want to stretch and grow. What was particularly inspiring this year, was the head coach for our 12 cyclists and the other two assistant coaches. All three of them exemplify to me, collaborative leadership. What did I find so inspiring? The Head Coach
Why Words Matter: Choosing Humanity Over Harm
In a 1990 interview with Barbara Walters, Donald Trump was asked if he thought it was appropriate to call the then-mayor of New York a “moron.” Trump replied, “It’s how I feel.” This seemingly simple exchange highlights a profound trap I’ve seen many people, not just Trump, fall into: the belief that evaluations and judgments are feelings. They are not. Feelings are bodily sensations, rooted deep within our mammalian wiring. Psychologists agree there are only a few core feelings — typically variations of mad,
Circles For Change: Build Connection Through Conversations
Last month, I had the privilege of speaking to a group of law students who were seeking alternative ways to resolve disputes—a group committed to transformation. This wasn’t just a conversation about law; it was about how we, as human beings, engage with one another when times get tough, how we bridge divides, and how we find connection when the world seems divided. The students, ranging from first-year to third-year law students, came with a shared desire to be part of something
The Unexpected Power of Appreciation in a World of Blame
There’s been a huge shift in the water cooler talk these last few months. Who hasn’t engaged in some form of conversation about the state of power-over, competitive, win-lose politics. For those of us who still believe in collaboration, what meaning are we to bring to this changing landscape in the type of leadership that is being modelled these days? That’s a question I’ve been wrestling with and after having some doubtful explorations, I’m excited to say I’m starting to
What To Do When Teammates Don’t Get Along
A few weeks ago, I turned on the radio and heard the announcer say that Vancouver Canucks hockey teammates Pettersson & Miller: “Don’t like each other.” The announcer went on to say even though these two hockey players make millions of dollars every year: “That’s just human nature. They don’t like each other. Money can’t buy you happiness.” That immediately got my attention! Yes, money cannot buy happiness – happiness is an inside job. I find it takes conscious attention and mindfulness to keep
How to Use the 5 As to Have High Stakes Conversations
According to a study by Bravely, 70% of employees avoid difficult conversations at work and fully 95% of employees struggle to speak up about a concern. That’s a lot of conversations about meaningful topics that are not happening – a whole lot of bottlenecking going on! Imagine how many conversations we are not having that we should be having. Some of them can have dire consequences, though may start out innocuous and can include: asking for a change important to you, at work or