A few weeks ago, I turned on the radio and heard the announcer say that Vancouver Canucks hockey teammates Pettersson & Miller: “Don’t like each other.” The announcer went on to say even though these two hockey players make millions of dollars every year: “That’s just human nature. They don’t like each other. Money can’t buy you happiness.” That immediately got my attention! Yes, money cannot buy happiness – happiness is an inside job. I find it takes conscious attention and mindfulness to keep

According to a study by Bravely, 70% of employees avoid difficult conversations at work and fully 95% of employees struggle to speak up about a concern. That’s a lot of conversations about meaningful topics that are not happening – a whole lot of bottlenecking going on! Imagine how many conversations we are not having that we should be having. Some of them can have dire consequences, though may start out innocuous and can include: asking for a change important to you, at work or

Recently, I wrote about how no real good comes from conversations where everyone’s emotions are elevated. I likened it to two people doing a dance with their amygdala, the almond-shaped part of our brains that says things like: “Your hair is on fire! The roof is falling in! This is horrible!” And, usually, it’s not. Instead of dancing the dance of pain that comes all too quickly when we’re in a lower brain state, I suggested breaking that pattern by calling for a break

Starting last October, I’ve been teaching a 3-month program through the On Conflict Leadership Institute, called LEAP for Collaborative Leaders. Its ambition is to equip leaders who are already collaborative with the mindset and tools to build their own conflict competent culture. It’s a big vision, and I’m incredibly excited to report that the 9 leaders who signed up for this inaugural voyage, are stimulated, inspired, and passionate about the topic of collaboration as a way to make lives better. One question that arose

Many people have heard about “I statements.” As someone said to me recently: “It’s counseling 101.”     Yet, I do see many people struggle with expressing I statements, or even having a common understanding of what they are.     So, let’s start with the basics: what do we really mean by I statements?     In its simplest form, an I statement is when someone talks about their own experience:   I went to the store. I think your bike is swell.