I was recently watching a video snippet of someone talking about being let go from a contract. They said they hadn’t seen it coming, were deeply impacted, and had a shaky voice in the telling. From time to time, life presents these kinds of moments – unexpected events with real-world consequences: A job is lost. […]
Speak Clearly, Gain Power Read More »
After working in the field of conflict for over 25 years, one of the most heartbreaking patterns I see starts in the smallest of ways. It begins with a moment, one of those tiny instances between you and someone you care about: Maybe it’s a small omission. A white lie. Maybe you avoid saying something
The Pinch That Becomes a Wedge Read More »
I was asked recently to volunteer as an assistant coach for an 8 week women’s cycling clinic. I was keen to do it, as I’ve volunteered in other years and it’s always inspiring to be around other women athletes who want to stretch and grow. What was particularly inspiring this year, was the head coach
The Joy of Collaborative Leadership Read More »
In a 1990 interview with Barbara Walters, Donald Trump was asked if he thought it was appropriate to call the then-mayor of New York a “moron.” Trump replied, “It’s how I feel.” This seemingly simple exchange highlights a profound trap I’ve seen many people, not just Trump, fall into: the belief that evaluations and judgments
Why Words Matter: Choosing Humanity Over Harm Read More »
Last month, I had the privilege of speaking to a group of law students who were seeking alternative ways to resolve disputes—a group committed to transformation. This wasn’t just a conversation about law; it was about how we, as human beings, engage with one another when times get tough, how we bridge divides, and how
Circles For Change: Build Connection Through Conversations Read More »
There’s been a huge shift in the water cooler talk these last few months. Who hasn’t engaged in some form of conversation about the state of power-over, competitive, win-lose politics. For those of us who still believe in collaboration, what meaning are we to bring to this changing landscape in the type of
The Unexpected Power of Appreciation in a World of Blame Read More »
A few weeks ago, I turned on the radio and heard the announcer say that Vancouver Canucks hockey teammates Pettersson & Miller: “Don’t like each other.” The announcer went on to say even though these two hockey players make millions of dollars every year: “That’s just human nature. They don’t like each other. Money can’t
What To Do When Teammates Don’t Get Along Read More »
According to a study by Bravely, 70% of employees avoid difficult conversations at work and fully 95% of employees struggle to speak up about a concern. That’s a lot of conversations about meaningful topics that are not happening – a whole lot of bottlenecking going on! Imagine how many conversations we are not having that
How to Use the 5 As to Have High Stakes Conversations Read More »
Recently, I wrote about how no real good comes from conversations where everyone’s emotions are elevated. I likened it to two people doing a dance with their amygdala, the almond-shaped part of our brains that says things like: “Your hair is on fire! The roof is falling in! This is horrible!” And, usually, it’s not.
Where’s the Music in Difficult Conversations? Read More »
I’m pretty lit up these days after launching my first-ever LEAP program – Conflict Mastery for Collaborative Leaders. It’s been a dream of mine for years and it’s been through the nurturing of the dream, and the good energy of many people, that this dream is alive and realized today. We are only
Are You a Tempered Radical? Read More »